Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The New And Improved Brand

     A young African-American probationer came in for his monthly meeting; quite cheerful and nonchalent.  We went through the routine proceedures and just before receiving his next appointment date, he was told that he would need to provide a urine sample for drug analysis.  From there, things went downhill.
     First, he said he couldn't go - then he had to be at work.  He was told that he would be required to provide the sample before leaving the office and if he failed to comply within a designated period of time, it was a mandatory probation violation.
    At last he agreed to comply, and not to any surprise, failed for THC marijuana.  When questioned about the sample he stated firmly that he had not been smoking and had a "justifyable reason as to why it was in his system. 
    His words were, " It's the stuff they put in my suntan lotion". 

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Roadblock Ahead

     It was a relatively slow 11-7 shift and two of our reserve officers came out to get in some street time and lend a helping hand. Sgt. Edwards had been with the reserve unit for several years; dedicated and professional, he would be an excellent full time officer.
     One of the regular duties was to conduct building checks at all of the area pharmacies, physician offices, schools and a large number of other areas and this is where the reserve units really helped a great deal.  It gave the full time officers more freedom to watch of other criminal activity.
     Edwards and partner were just finishing a building check just off the main drag when one of the units requested assistance with a traffic stop.  The reserve officers scrambled to their unit and started to respond.  The plan was to take a shortcut through one of the parking lots which would enable them to avoid a lenthy red light.  The problem was, they were not aware that the business owner was in the process of installing a chain link fence - the rails were the only thing in place at the time.
     With Edwards behind the wheel, the cruiser missed the upright but came to a screeching halt when the horizontal 2 inch bar chewed up the hood from front to back and created a maze of spider web cracks across the windshield.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Here, Have Another Drink

      Deputy Dunn had started with one of the city departments and soon took a new assignment and promotion with an area sheriff department.  Skilled in dealing with people, laid back, happy-go-lucky, he was an ideal officer.  He was also one of the few who chewed tobacco while on patrol and kept his "bottle" handy in the console.
      He was backup officer on a DUI traffic stop.  When he arrived, the operator was already in custody and the arresting officer asked Dunn to complete the vehicle inventory for towing and then give the passenger a ride home.  The passenger had been drinking but was not overly intoxicated and caused no problem.  Dunn, was more than happy to oblige.
      Dunn had the passenger sit in his cruiser while the tow driver hooked up the offender's car.  When he pulled out, Dunn returned to his unit only to find that the passenger had regurgitated all over the front seat, the door, the floor, the dash - about everywhere in sight.  Shocked, Dunn said, "Man what's with you; I thought you wasn't that bad?"  The passenger replied, "Dude, I wanted a drink of your Pepsi; I didn't know what it was!"

Sunday, April 3, 2011

I Cannot Tell A Lie

It was a busy day in court and the room was packed to standing room only.  The variety of cases was normal and the judge fully expected it to be a long and illustrious day.

One young man appeared before the already tired and frustrated judge to plead his case.  He was in for a violation of probation hearing, not his first time.  And like before, this was in regards to his continual use of illegal drugs, in short, marijuana.

He stood confident before the judge, standing tall and proud.  When the charge was presented, the young man stated without hesitation, "Judge, I haven't been smoking marijuana".   The judge, with a copy of the confirmed drug screen in hand asked, "Then how did you get it in your system"?  Without hesitation the offender replied, " I was having sex with my girlfriend and she passed it to me".

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Duck Hunting In The Squad Room

Shift change was always a busy time.  Incoming and outgoing gathered to pass information and brief on problem areas and BOLO's (Be On LookOut).  And during that time, officers would check their vehicles to make certain everything was in working order, including the shotgun that was carried in the vehicle.

Officer Bayfield, was no rookie; seasoned and well disciplined, highly trained in martial arts and basically an easy going guy, but not always thinking clearly when it came to multi-tasking. 

As required, he had removed the shotgun and was checking it while we were having our briefing.  He opened the chamber and systematically removed the 00 buckshot from the magazine loading port.  He looked through the chamber properly, closed the cylinder, held the weapon skyward and pulled the trigger.

The small room rocked with the resulting explosion - he had overlooked the cartridge that was channeled into the chamber when he first opened it.  Men were crawling under tables, behind lockers, inside of lockers, anywhere they could find cover.  With weapons drawn we slowly began to look around to see what had happend, was anyone injured, where the shot came from. 

Standing in the middle of the room was Bayfield, covered in dust and debris from the ceiling tile that was now in shreds above his head.  Slowly those going on call, went to their vehicle for patrol and those now off duty silently headed home.  As the shift supervisor made his call to the patrol commander, Bayfield sat down and began to write his incident report and waited for the commanders unpleasant arrival. 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

This Job Stinks

     Our dispatcher was flooded with calls when a skunk got it's head caught inside of a can.  It was running around in circles on one of the main bridges that came into town.  Drivers were swerving to avoid it and each other and units were dispatched to see what could be done. 
     We blocked off both ends of the bridge and detoured vehicles around.  Sgt. Snave surveyed the situation and called for animal control to bring the tranquilizer gun.  The response was that there was no serum left as it had been a busy week for skunks and possums already.  Setting a trap was unlikely as it would be almost impossible to lure the frightened animal into the cage.
     With nothing left to do, Sgt. Snave contacted the chief and requested permission to terminate the animal.  When permission was given, the Sgt. set about his undesired task.  But why he chose to use his 9mm service weapon opposed to the shotgun in the vehicle, no one ever figured out.
     Positioning himself to avoid any ricochet and to avoid a bullet striking a vehicle in any near proximity, Sgt Snave took careful aim and fired two rounds.  The animal dropped immediately.  The Sgt. watched for a few minutes and after seeing no more movement walked over to pick up the animal and take it to the animal control vehicle for disposal.
     But when he bent over to lift the skunk by the tail, the skunk lifted it's tail first and gave Sgt. Snave a shot of his own.  The fragrance permeated the downtown area for days.  Sgt. Snave burned the uniform.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Just Taking A Look Around

     There are times when a police officer will leave his vehicle running and have the door locked; which of course requires that he carries an extra key to his cruiser.  And there are times when an officer will inadvertently lock his keys in his patrol car; which also requires him to carry an extra key.
     The evening shift was drawing to a close and traffic was slow.  Cpl. Smith turned around to apprehend  a vehicle traveling with only one functioning headlamp.  It is common knowledge that the older and more beat-up a vehicle is, the more likely it is that the operator has:  A. a suspended license, B. no insurance or registration, C. an outstanding warrant, or D  all of the above.  This particular vehicle met the description so it would be a good stop.
     The suspect vehicle rolled to a stop on the shoulder of a well-traveled 4-lane highway.  Smith made contact with the operator and verified that he did in fact, have proper registration, insurance and a license.  When he made his way back to his patrol car, he discovered that his keys were inside with the motor running and overhead lights flashing.  But it took a minute for him to comprehend why his extra key wouldn't unlock the vehicle. 
     The unit he normally drove was in the shop for minor repairs and he was driving the spare unit.  Casually, her returned to the suspect vehicle, issued a verbal warning to get his light fixed and sent the driver on his way.  Then he called his sergeant to bring an extra key; and while he patiently waited, he walked up and down the road side shining his flashlight like he was looking for something.